Perfectionism and other ways I screw myself

Perfectionism

Ok, here we go…

I am sitting in the afternoon sun here in Florida.

I am shit-scared to post this. I am afraid of putting my website back online and start writing publicly again, in English.

My mind goes blank right now.

I had all sorts of great ideas for this first post. I have been thinking about what to write for months. Now that I am actually writing something that I will post, nothing comes up.

Shit.

Whenever I sit in the confines of my room and write something just for myself, I can’t stop writing. The words just flow. I don’t edit myself. I have fun doing it.

Now I edit the hell out of what I am going to write here.

I am afraid of your judgments. I want you to like me and like what I got to say.

I imagine I am a perfectionist. I also imagine that this gets in the way of me sharing what I got to say. So I cheat the world out of hearing my story.

I guess it is fair to say that I am egotistical.

Now I am stressing about inserting different headlines here. I heard that Google ranks pages higher if they use headlines in the text. I want to be ranked high on Google.

As I write this first post, I have no idea what this site is going to be about…

When I first started writing, I wrote in German.

I dedicated my first site to helping people live more self-determined and free.

I even wrote a book in German (Funny side note: I just went to Amazon to copy the link here and saw that I rank higher on Amazon than my professor who told me I am to young to write a book)

I guess I was the person I wanted to help the most. I needed it.

My goal was to become a life coach. You know, like Tony Robbins. Doing speeches and traveling the world and making money of helping other people.

Along the way I came to realize that what the world needs most are more happy people.

Look around. Most people suffer from their minds to one degree or another.

I know I do.

So right now I want to write about happiness and how we all keep ourselves from being happy.

In my mind I think I should work on the site more before posting this.

Studying business has not really helped me, I guess.

I think I need a niche, a better title for this site and great pictures.

This is how my mind works: figure things out 100% before you put them out and never risk being criticized. I usually end up frustrated and putting nothing out there.

So today I will.

I kept this site in offline mode for over 5 months… silently figuring out the details in my head and never doing anything (I also apply this strategy to dating and many other subjects).

Hereby I re-open it.

Hello world… welcome in.

Yours truly

Marvin Schulz

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